Today we share a short teaching from Gurudeva, who would always tell a new husband he should take responsibility for his wife’s happiness by fulfilling all her needs and, indeed, all of her wants. Some thought that could be an expensive proposition, but Gurudeva would assure them that the wife would never ask for more than he could provide, for she too knows the family limits, and, he would add, her happiness will make you happy. He speaks here of that ideal.
In the home, the mother is likened to the Shakti Deity. She is the power,
the very soul of the home. None other. So she has to be there. She has
to be treated sensitively and kindly, and with respect. She has to be
given all the things she needs and everything she wants so she will release
her shakti power to support her husband, so that he is successful in all his
When she is hurt, depressed, frustrated or disappointed,
she automatically withdraws that power, compromising his success in the
outside world along with it. People will draw away from him. His job,
business or creative abilities will suffer. This is her great siddhi, her inborn
power, which Hindu women know so well.
It is the manis duty, his purusha dharma, to provide for her and for the
children. The husband should provide her with all the fine things, with a
good house which she then makes into a home, with adornments, gold and
jewels and clothes, gold hanging down until her ears hurt, more bracelets,
more things to keep her in the home so she is feeling secure and happy.
In return she provides a refuge, a serene corner of the world where he
can escape from the pressures of daily life, where he can regain his inner
perspective, perform his religious sadhana and meditations, then enjoy
his family. Thus, she brings happiness and peace of mind to her family, to
the community and to the world.
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Within our Saiva Siddhanta Holy Scriptures the Saiva Agamas explain the basis of temple ceremonies and worship plus yoga and jnana. The Tirukural was considered by Gurudeva to be "the most accessible and relevant sacred text." In it are practical and helpful guidelines for our conduct in every day life. The point of family life is to gain steady improvement, forever, in self control in the midst of responsibilities in the fulfillment of family dharma. Meanwhile, not taking detachment too far but taking it in the sense of spiritually looking for happiness, not outside in other people or possessions, the world, but inside ourselves and then sharing it with family and friends. "We regard the writings of our satgurus as scripture."
Path to Siva, Lesson 20
Tirukural, Introduction and Contents
Tirukural, Chapter 15 Possession of Self-Control
"The temple enables us to feel the presence of God, Gods and devas." We use our inner eyes to see what's going on in the temple, the three worlds. In the temple we're being good dvaitists in the dimfi perspective, focused in bhakti upon God Siva. In meditation we're monists, in the shumif perspective. We claim our oneness with Siva, Sivoham, I am Siva. In surrender, shrinking the ego through devotion, we have a realization that we're not the doer, that Siva is doing it all. Siva's energy comes through our soul.