I have learned over the years that the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others and the joy is manifolds.
From the Tao: The way is a limitless vessel; Used by the self, it is not filled by the world; it cannot be cut, knotted, dimmed or stilled; Its depths are hidden, ubiquitous and eternal; I don’t know where it comes from; it comes from nature.
In our teachings we're both monistic and theistic. In the beliefs of Saivism the idea of the three worlds is the basis and key to understanding temple worship, theism. The inner worlds are there to help you. The essence of the soul is already the same as the essence of God Siva, monism. You just have to find it.