SOME FUN TODAY

Submissions from Hot Masala readers to our joke department.

Not Sarong
An article in a New York magazine once described the dress of an Indian maharani as a sarong instead of a sari.The editor then wrote an appology saying- "All I can say is I'm sari I was sarong."

Most Men's Main Interest in Life
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 are followers of women.

EXCERPTS FROM SATELLITE NEWS
And these are cuts from Satellite News to share with the whole world. Readers can skip this if they get Satellite news by email.

Jack and Jessica McMahon placed a 4-foot-high "Hotei" (a laughing Buddha-like statue) on their front porch as a symbol of joy and hospitality, but the Japanese totem of good fortune only drew ill will from their homeowner's association.

A neighbor complained the "Hotei" frightened his children, so the board for the Danville townhouse complex decalred the statue unacceptable decor, although there were no association rules prohibiting such statues.

"Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, 'Can we tolerate 60 of those in our complex?'" Walnut Forest Homeowner's Association President Carolyn Mallard said. "We felt it should have been moved to the back yard."

Move it out of sight, the McMahons were ordered, or face daily fines.

Jack McMahon refused. Instead, he placed a red, white and blue "USA" baseball cap atop the statue's smooth stone scalp.

"I thought 'If they're going to be silly, I'm soing to be silly,'" McMahan said. "They want everything to look the same. In East Germany, everything looked the same."

After months of protest, the board reconsidered. The statue could remain --- as long as the baseball cap was removed. McMahon complied. He figured winning the war over the statue was better than losing the battle over the cap.

What Dreams May Come
"To sleep, perchance to dream,
and in that dream of death,
what dreams may come."
--- from Shakespeare's Hamlet

With a beautiful exposition of hi-tech computer wizardry married to stunning landscapes and golden-lighted vistas that would make Maxfield Parrish envious, a new movie debuted in America's cinematic consciousness Friday.

"What Dreams May Come" is a 90-minute seminar on how this world and the astral world interact, shown through the story of a Dr Nielson and his family, how they "die", how devanic helpers adjust them to the next world, and --- shall we hint at the ending? --- how they are reincarnated again on earth.

This film gets down to some nitty gritty inner truths and is not just airy- fairy clouds and devas. One of the great lessons of the film graphically depicts what happens when someone commits suicide. Anyone wondering about this particular forbidden sutra needs only see this movie to understand completely the karma of such a self-destructive act.

Highly recommended movie for helpful hints on living in the Bhuloka and Antaraloka.

More background on the main theme of the movie:

What happens in the astral world to one who commits suicide.

Suicide is the fastest growing killer of young people in America, and has now become the second leading cause of death for teens age 15 o 19. Within a typical high school classroom, it's likely that three students -- two girls and one boy -- have made a suicide attempt in the past year, according to the American Association of Suicidology in Washington.

Suicide respects no gender, racial or socioeconomic boundaries either: For example, the typical profile of an adolescent who attempts suicide is an academically gifted female who ingests pills. Those who succeed in killing themselves are typically gifted males who die of a gunshot wound.

Despite these alarming statistics, suicide remains a taboo subject. There is still the myth that if you talk about it, you're going to make it happen. But, according to Rebecca Emme, who helped found a suicide prevention foundation, the opposite is true. Talking about one's fears and problems with someone can be a big deterrent, according to Emme, whose brother killed himself with a handgun when he was 17.

One important statistic: Nine out of ten times, someone is not going to attempt suicde if they have someone else with them. Score one more for our extended families, chaperoning and togetherness!

(To contact Light for Life Foundation of America:
303 429 3530
HTTP://www.yellowribbon.org)