Satguru Siva Yogaswami
Jaffna, Sri Lanka
Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami
Kauai's Hindu Monastery, USA
|August 31, 1999 - Bharani|
A bright Sri Lankan couple from London, Konesh and Vadivambigai were married just a week ago and came to Hawaii for their honeymoon. They came to the Aadheenam to receive Gurudeva's blessings on their union.
Gurudeva instructs the young couple, pointing out in his book "Living with Siva," the chapters on guidelines for a wife, for women, for husbands and for men and for the family. He explains "You must always solve your differences each night before you go to bed. If you don't, if you just ignore them, they will form samskaras, impressions that will remain inside you for years."
Then jokingly to Vadivambigai, the bride, he says, "If anything goes wrong, it's all his fault." [pointing to her new husband Konesh, everyone laughs, but then, seriously. . .]
"Why? because he has married you and brought you into his home to be with his family and in that context, it is his responsibility to make sure that the situation works and that you will be happy, protected and well taken care of. If that doesn't happen then its his fault."
After they left, Gurudeva sat with Meera and Ram Ramamurthy (on the left) Swami Buaji Maharaj, and Sankar Sashtri (on the right but not in the camera.)
After a quiet signing of some books. Ram said "Swami Bua, why don't you say something." Swami Bua said, jokingly "I didn't come to give, I came to take!" Then, "I came for a message from Gurudeva." Gurudeva sat quietly for a few minutes of peace in the "beauty of the moment," and then slowly began discussing with the guests the issues of wife abuse and child abuse. In his strong firm way, referring to parents who hit their children and men who hit their wives. . ." Worse than animals! .. . .A problem no one wants to talk about. It's a problem in all communities, but Hindus have the philosophy of ahimsa, which means non-hurtfulness in thought, word or deed."
Gurudeva explained about his global campaign against domestic violence and hi-lighted, the success his devotees had in Malaysia and Singapore. "In Malaysia, one of my sishya, a school teacher, became aware of a badly beaten boy... I told him that just by his knowing, he now had a responsibility to report the father to the police. At first he was afraid. Everyone told him it wasn't his place to get involved. But he prevailed and the father is in jail and the boy is in a foster home and he is a hero in his school." There followed an extremely lively discussion on the issue of needing to "discipline children," with occasional comments from the "old school" that still believes in the use of "chastisement. . .some situations require that we instill some fear in our children . . .what if they are going to burn themselves, or if they are so out of control they are disturbing adults in public?"
Of course Gurudeva didn't budge an inch. "Cruel heartless people. It's very simple: you don't hurt someone you love, you just can't." Ram, second from the left, concurred "My father never beat me. He was determined that we should never fear him, and he raised us with love."
Gurudeva will be going on mission to Mauritius, Malaysia and Singapore in one week and one of the key issues on his agenda is ending domestic violence. The key is education.
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