Penance at a Cave in Malaysia
Arvind looked around him. The house had become like a temple over the last month as Thai Pusam approached. A divine aura seemed to surround the family. His mother and father, aunts and uncles all wore holy ash on their foreheads and were dressed in Hindu clothing. The house was filled with the smell of incense and jasmine flowers.§
Suddenly he remembered his cousin, and a shiver ran down his spine. Raj was going to do tapas this year by carrying a kavadi and being pierced with a small spear through his tongue. The very thought of it troubled him. Six years ago, when Arvind was seven, he had seen the long line of hundreds of kavadi carriers at Batu Caves in Kuala Lumpur, many with hooks and spears pierced through their skin. As he entered the cave at the top of the stairs, one kavadi carrier especially caught his attention. His head was shaven and he had a wild look in his eyes as he danced to the beat of drums. After he received blessings at the small shrine to the God Murugan, the man sat down off to the side. Arvind watched as a priest removed the hooks and spears from his skin. Pale with fear, Arvind closed his eyes, imagining blood pouring out. But when he opened his eyes, there was no blood! The man stood up and walked to the shrine for worship as if nothing had happened. The episode left a deep impression on Arvind. Often he would remember the man with the spears, wonder at the pain he must have felt and marvel that there was no blood.§
Coming back to the present, Arvind wondered about his cousin Raj. What had inspired him to take kavadi this year? Did he know what he was getting into? Arvind felt he knew better on this issue than his cousin did, even though Raj was his elder by three years. Sure, Raj had seen the kavadi carriers, but did he really know how much pain they must be going through? Maybe he should warn him. He ran through the house looking for him, then to the temple next door.§
He found Raj sitting at the temple peacefully reading about tapas from chapter 27 of the Tirukural. “Raj, I have to tell you this, you don’t know what you are getting into with this kavadi thing. Don’t do it! You don’t know what it is!”§
Raj smiled and said, “What is it that you know about it that I don’t?”§
“I have seen what the big kavadi carriers go through at Batu Caves. It is no joke. Many of them go with huge hooks piercing their skin! It looked so scary, I almost fainted! You aren’t going to do that, are you? I can’t see why they would cause so much pain to themselves.”§
Raj smiled and said, “Arvind, I’ve seen it, too, but I have done some wrong things this year. I have behaved badly at times, fighting and arguing with people. I know that all this has earned me some bad karma, and now I want to do penance to set things right again. It isn’t just carrying kavadi on Thai Pusam day. For an entire month, I have eaten only one meal a day and slept on the floor in the building beside the temple. But to tell you the truth, I have never been more at peace than I am now. My thoughts are always on Lord Murugan. I feel that these physical hardships are setting the stage for some divine experience in my life. Don’t worry, I will be fine.”§
As the day for the kavadi neared, Arvind felt sick with dread. He did not like violence, and he hated the thought of his cousin going through the pain. On the other hand, he was excited to have a second chance to witness a spiritual event which he was not able to fully understand the first time he saw it.§
That bright, early morning, the high limestone cliff with the cave home of Lord Murugan was reflecting the rising sun’s rays. Arvind sat on the ground to watch the priests prepare Raj for kavadi. Raj was dressed in a white veshti cloth, and around his neck hung several strands of sacred rudraksha beads. His body was marked with three stripes of vibhuti in dozens of places, and his forehead was adorned with a mark of yellow sandalwood paste and red powder between his eyes. He looked serene, and his body seemed to glow with a divine energy.§
As the priest completed the preparations, Raj breathed in deeply and shuddered as he went into a trance. A half dozen friends gathered round to steady him as the priests began to quickly place small hooks into his back and chest. From each hook hung a green lime. The number quickly grew to 108. Then the priest pierced a silver spear through Raj’s tongue. All the while Raj did not flinch or utter a sound. He was completely serene, as if in another world.§
“Sure, the piercing hurts,” Raj had told Arvind the day before. “But you are in a different state of mind, one where the pain is a small thing and the determination to complete the tapas is the big thing. So don’t you worry about me.”§
The group of friends now placed the kavadi on Raj’s shoulders and strapped the support belt around his waist. The kavadi was a beautiful wood platform some ten feet high and eight feet wide built upon a shoulder harness. It was decorated with flowers and peacock feathers. Raj had been building it all week. Several small bells hung from the sides, adding their own uplifting tune to the occasion.§
With the kavadi firmly placed on his shoulders, Raj stood up. To the sound of a mighty drum beat, he began walking toward the cave temple of Lord Murugan. It was a slow process to cover the kilometer to the base of the cliff, and then climb the 286 steps to the top. Shouts of “Vel, Vel” and “Jai Murugan” pierced the air. Often the procession stopped, as there were hundreds of kavadi carriers making the march. Many had started before daybreak. Hundreds of thousands of devotees were present to worship and witness the kavadi. The sun was high in the sky when Raj reached the huge golden Murugan statue standing 140 feet tall at the base of the steps.§
Arvind looked at the crowd and then at Raj. With his eyes half open, Raj seemed to be staring at a distant space as though his eyes could see something that none of them could. The expression on Raj’s face was so divine and peaceful. Arvind had never seen that expression on anyone’s face. Suddenly, Arvind felt a little jealous. What miracle was happening to Raj that he could smile so divinely in spite of the hardship he was experiencing?§
They reached the top of the stairs and entered the huge cave. A thousand devotees, crowding in front of the small Murugan temple in the cave wall, made way for the kavadi carriers. Raj sat down on a stool near the temple. To the beating of the drum, a team of priests took the kavadi from his shoulders and removed the hooks from his body.§
Unlike when he saw kavadi as a child, this time Arvind did not flinch and turn away. He watched the entire event. The concerns about the pain disappeared and he saw the act as a divine process.§
Now no longer in a trance, Raj took his milk offerings up to the shrine for Lord Murugan. With a final puja and blessings from the priest, his kavadi tapas was complete, his penance finished.§
Later that day, Arvind walked up to Raj and said anxiously, “You looked so radiant and serene. Can you please explain the whole thing to me? Even if one little needle pokes me, I yell. How could you bear 108 hooks being pierced in your body, the spear in your tongue and then slowly walk with it all for two hours to reach the temple a kilometer away? I don’t understand!”§
Raj said, “Arvind, I am now so much at peace, I can’t even begin to explain the feeling. While the hooks were being placed on my body, I offered a bad deed from the months past to Lord Murugan with each hook. I felt His blessings showering on me as the pain of each hook settled one karmic score. You know, the Tirukural says that just as gold is purified by a blazing fire, so does the pain and suffering of tapas purify the soul. And remember, it wasn’t just the day of Thai Pusam. I was also living a strict and simple life for a month beforehand, taking just one meal a day and sleeping on the floor.”§
Suddenly everything made sense. Raj had felt the pain, even though he was in a divine trance, but he had been somehow beyond it!§
“And a true devotee is born,” sighed Arvind loudly. His fears had vanished and were replaced with a sense of longing. He wished he could experience what Raj had gone through. “I shall do this myself next year!” he thought decisively as he walked back to his room, “at least with a small kavadi and a couple of hooks.”§
