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Bodhinatha gave an excellent talk today about tolerance, focusing on the problem of hatred as something that must be worked on first from within the home, by what we teach our children.... listen for it in the days ahead.

Bodhinatha's Sun One Video. Most Recent update: February 28, 2003, Maha Sivaratri Upadesha (posted today). Opens in separate Window. Quicktime 6.0 required to view this 30 minute MP4).

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Our Sun One homa began early in the morning as usual. The temple was full of positive energies.

Yogi Mahadevan is mastering the homa ritual and does a very meticulous puja.

Agniye Svaha!

Stepping back in time, yesterday on the third day of our retreat was the monthly Chitra puja for Gurudeva.

He is within us and also on the inside of the outside of the temple as well.

Each of the devotees comes forward to prostrate...

Taking the prasadam...

Our silpi team was also on hand for the puja.

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The really exciting day was the Iraivan day on the retreat when we had our second pillar raising, beginning on the west side, coming around the north and back side of the temple.

Six pillars in all were put up. Here are the four pillars of the west side.

Meanwhile scaffolding was put up for the raising of the potagai that followed the pillars going up.

Here we are at number four for the day at the corner of the temple.

Up he goes.

Larry Conklin, the silpi team and the Siddhidata Kulam team of monks are becoming swift and experienced. It's important as the cost of the crane per hour is very high!

Removing the tall vertical beams that were supporting the retaining wall was required.

It was a tricky and challenging task. The huge beams had to be cut off at the level of the sand and then whisked away by the crane without hitting any of the pillars nearby. Sadhaka Tejadeva is assigned the job of strapping the beams at the top.

"Ok, up now gently... tug a bit to the left."

Sannyasin Sivakatirswami came in to help with the chainsaw work at the base.

As he nears the finish of the cut... anxiety mounts... the beam could fall, or swing away wildly, hitting one of the pillars.

Everyone grabs hold...

The lower end of the beam is roped from two sides and pulled on both ways...

Sannyasin Yoginathaswami is the supervisor on the job, giving instructions and guiding the team.

The silpis stand back watching.....

"Alright... it's cut through. Take it away!"

Larry immediately cables up and booms out, carrying the huge beam away from the temple.

Down scope....

Unstrap...

Meanwhile Sadhaka Tejadeva straps the next pillar.

The day passed without a single problem, though there were a few anxious moments when one of the wooden beams swayed a bit too close to the the temple for comfort.

It was a really beautiful day at Iraivan... stayed tuned for the rest of the show tomorrow as the first potagai were raised on top of the four pillars we had placed before on the east side of the temple.

Our silpis have said that here on Kauai the sun is really fierce, even more so than in India... Normally they work under protective shade but today everyone was out under the bright sun. They decided to accept our offer to use a western style hat for protection... Sundari Achari looks very dashing in this straw hat.

A carving on one of the pillars...

While the monks were on retreat our family members hosted guests at the temple... During retreats there are no tours, but people can look at the temple from a distance.

Brahmachari Rajadeva was on hand and has a digital camera and sent these three shots... he says:

"This is a group of educators (teachers and administrators) from various schools in Southern California, who are attending an education seminar here on the Island. They were introduced to the Deities of the Kaduval Temple and learned of the founding, carving and assemblage of Iraivan Temple."

At the very beginning of the path up to the monastery is a small covered kiosk type space with the story of San Marga. Many people read this and it give them a good orientation.

Our colorful tents for the Banyan Mandapam and Mini-mela shop look inviting from a distance as visitors walk up the path to Kadavul temple.

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Date: March_09_2003
Title: Uplifting Those Who Don't Want to Be Uplifted
Category: Relationships
Duration: 5 min., 59 seconds
Date Given: January 11, 2003
Given by: Bodhinatha

A related point came to mind this morning. We have a situation where many of our members are taking care of elderly parents, one way or another. Either the parents are living with them or visiting them regularly, interacting quite a lot. I get memos all the time about this subject, "Please give me advise about taking care of my parents."

Here is one message that came in recently requesting advise, slightly edited to keep the person anonymous. "The Doctor has put Dad on an even stronger pain medication. He spends his days in bed. He is very, very depressed. I pray daily that I can brighten his day in some small way. I offer to massage him. Sometimes he is open, sometimes he just wants to be left alone. Please put him in your thoughts and prayers. My husband and I try very hard to care for him in the best way we know how. I, most times, feel it is never enough, never good enough because Dad is so closed down, so critical and angry. I continually look for ways to give and to serve each day. Please offer advise and encouragement."

Sound familiar? It is a definite problem where the parent is in a negative state of mind to one degree or another, and refuses to budge from that state of mind, no matter what the children do. They are determined to remain negative, critical and unhappy, which frustrates those that are taking care of the person because they want that not to be the case.

Here was the advise. "Regarding advise in caring for your father-in-law, it is enough to do the kindly act. If it is appreciated or not, from a karmic point of view does not matter. You are creating good karma by fulfilling dharma." That was the advise.

In other words, don't expect the person to be other than depressed. It is just depressing you, the father or mother remaining depressed. So you are discouraged because what you are doing is not changing that. That is frustrating yourself unnecessarily because what you are doing is all you can do. You can't change a lifetime of mental habits of a person just by smiling and being nice. The person is who he or she is. All you can do is your duty, do it to the best of your ability. If the person is uplifted and smiles because of it or remains grumpy and depressed, you can't let that be the measure of your success. The measure of success is doing the duty in the first place, doing it the best you can, doing it with love. That is all you can do. You have earned lots of good karma by that simple action.

That ties into happiness in the sense, that you don't want to let another's unhappiness take away your happiness.

It is okay for you to be happy, even though the parent isn't happy, even though you are in the same house. It is not against the rules to smile and laugh and joke around just because the parent won't. You can't let it be contagious, that sense of negativity and depression and criticalness if they have that, because you are not able to do anything about it. But it should not ruin the mood of everyone else in the family. They should not feel they are not doing their best.

This applies to everything we do for others in life. Take this same principle. Sometimes parents get discouraged because they do the best they can with their children and the children don't respond in a way that seems at all reasonable to what they are doing to try and help. So the parents don't feel good. "Gee, the child didn't respond to all my good advise, all my love and attention. They are still doing the same old, stupid things." The parent feels sad. But why should you feel sad? You have done your duty, you have done the best you can, you have earned good karma by doing the right thing in a loving way. You can't let the person's response discourage you or take away from your own happiness. You have to learn to be happy just by doing the right thing, regardless if someone takes the advise or not.

Imagine Gurudeva. He gave so much advise over the years. If he was unhappy every time someone didn't take his advise, he would be terribly unhappy. Right? So we always have to look to Gurudeva and see how he did it. He was the Master of these kinds of insights into life. Definitely, he would just give the advise, regardless of if the person took it or not, remained unhappy, became happy, whatever. Gurudeva was Gurudeva. His consciousness was not moved by the person's response.

We need to be the same way because it influences us more than we realize. We get burdened more than we realize by other peoples' responses to our good intentions. That takes away from our happiness. We don't want to take away from our own happiness. There is no reason we cannot be happy even if others that surround us are not .

Aum Namah Sivaya.

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